


What To Expect In Your Baby’s First Year

by alkjira



Series: What To Expect [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No One Ring, Alternative Universe - No Durins Died At BoFA, Crack, Cracky fluff, Handy Tips For Hobbits Who Have Had A Baby With A Dwarven King, M/M, Mpreg, Small Amounts Of Sanity, The Previous Tag May Or May Not Be True, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-29 07:51:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1002852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Still does pretty much what the title and tags suggest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What To Expect In Your Baby’s First Year

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [What To Expect In Your Baby's First Year](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4342019) by [achildofyavanna (Minionfromthedark)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minionfromthedark/pseuds/achildofyavanna)



> On popular demand: a sequel to What To Expect When You Are Expecting.
> 
> I didn't think the first one would be so popular, so I'm kinda expecting this not to be.  
> I'm not sure if that logic makes sense, but that's normal for me. 
> 
> not betaed
> 
> Um, enjoy?

**Week 1** _  
Congratulations! You did it!  
  
It’s normal to feel exhausted, sore (because, ow!), overwhelmed, euphoric, and so many other things, all because of a little pink, scrunched-up being no bigger than a pumpkin. A small pumpkin. Because if it was a big one, then no one would ever have more than one child. Ah, the miracle of life.  
  
_ “Thorin, you’ve been testing the temperature of that bathwater for so long it’s surely got to be too cold now. I just need a bowl of warm water and a cloth.”  
  
When Thorin turned to scowl at him Bilbo just raised his arms slightly and Thorin’s eyes were irresistibly drawn down to their daughter; scowl melting away like snow in a fireplace. Only less wetly.  
  
Though there had definitely been tears in certain blue eyes right after their daughter had been born, and they hadn’t even been from Bilbo squeezing his hand too hard. Well, mostly not, or so Thorin had claimed.  
  
She still didn’t have a name yet, their daughter. Or at least not a public name. That other name Bilbo had left to Thorin’s discretion as it was a completely Dwarven tradition. But it, a little surprisingly, had been a beautiful  name; which was almost a shame since very few people would ever know it, much less use it.  
  
The surprising part came from Bilbo’s experience with _discussing_ their daughter’s other name with his husband. The list of names she _wouldn’t_ have kept getting longer, and not only because of the Company’s ever gracious, ever persistent, suggestions.  
  
-  
  
When Thorin had actually looked like he considered _Fragh_ (Bofur’s suggestion), Bilbo had finally made good of his threat and sentenced the Dwarf (Bofur that was) to a night in Erebor’s dungeons. Sure, it was a night in a comfortable bed that Bilbo had asked to be taken down especially, but it was still a night in the _dungeons_ , and Bofur had looked suitably chastised the next day.  
  
The best part was that the rest of them had _finally_ given up on sharing their opinions of what the best name would be. Clearly Bilbo should have played the dungeons card months ago.  
  
“I don’t see what’s wrong with Fragh,” Thorin had muttered when Bofur had come to offer his apology for meddling in things that was _clearly_ none of his business.  
  
“It sounds like ‘frog’.”  
  
“No it doesn’t,” Thorin had replied. “It sounds like _Fragh_.”  
  
“I think-“ Bofur had begun to say. “Did I say that I was sorry?” he quickly finished when Bilbo glared at him.  
  
-  
  
“No daughter of mine is going to be called Frog,” Bilbo muttered and ran a finger down the downy cheek of his baby girl. Which wasn’t green or slimy, thank you very much.  
  
“It’s nothing like frog,” Thorin sighed as he placed the bowl on the table at Bilbo’s right side.  
  
“Except for the way it sounds?” Bilbo asked, and Thorin huffed. He was welcome to do so, because their daughter wouldn’t be called Frog as long as Bilbo had anything to say about it.  
  
“I’m pretty sure she still has all her fingers and toes,” Thorin said and Bilbo looked up.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You’re counting again,” Thorin said with a smile, and Bilbo realised that he was indeed touching their baby girl’s fingers and toe one by one, over and over.  
  
“I don’t know why I keep doing that,” Bilbo frowned, but his frown was just as hard to maintain when faced with his daughter as Thorin’s scowl had been.  
  
“Did we really do this?” Bilbo asked in a low voice. “Sometimes I can't beleive that she’s _ours_.”  
  
Thorin’s hand was warm and big on his shoulder and the Hobbit looked up at his husband.  
  
“I’m not sure how much credit I deserve,” the Dwarf said. “It seems to me that you did it all.”  
  
“Oh, you helped,” Bilbo smiled. “I couldn’t have done it without you. Even if I could have done without the gold crib I know you still have stored somewhere I'm not supposed to know about.”  
  
Thorin grumbled beneath his breath. Bilbo was pretty sure he’d heard the word ‘Elves’ somewhere in there.  
  
They were also still discussing if ‘Elves’ was a curse word or not. Bilbo had a feeling that this discussion would never end.  
  
“Thorin?”  
  
“Yes, my love?”  
  
“I think the water is too cold now. And where’s the cloth?”  
  
-  
  
“What do you think about Della?” Bilbo asked as he put their daughter down in her golden, but not gold, crib. She was already sleeping, but then again, she was almost always sleeping. When she wasn’t eating or making a mess of herself.  
  
(If Bilbo had had any doubts about Thorin’s race… his daughter would have been proof enough of the Dwarven part of her heritage. Any day now he was expecting her to go for the plumbing.)  
  
“Della?” Thorin asked.  
  
“For her name,” Bilbo clarified. “A bit like my mother and a bit like your sister. But it’s still her own name. Or do you want to name her after your mother?”

“I quite like Della,” Thorin said quietly. “It suits her.”  
  
“So, I guess we’re going to introduce her to the rest of the kingdom tomorrow then.”  
  
Balin had told him how it was tradition to present a princess or prince as soon as they had been given a name. Their public name that was.

“Maybe I still like Fragh better,” Thorin said, glancing away.  
  
“What? You said you liked Della. Why-?” Bilbo paused. “Are you being difficult just because you don’t want to take her out of this room?”  
  
If Thorin hadn’t already looked away, Bilbo was sure he would now be doing so. _Guiltily_.  
  
“Della it is then,” Bilbo said firmly. “And if I find out that our daughter was almost named Frog because her father is more stubborn than-“  
  
As Bilbo had said ‘her father’ Thorin’s gaze had slipped back to their daughter again, and it was really hard to be angry at someone with such a soppy expression on their face.  
  
Sighing Bilbo curled his arm around Thorin’s waist.  
  
“Della,” he said again, just to make things clear.  
  
“Della,” Thorin agreed and leaned down for a kiss.  
  
-  
  
 **Week 2**  
 _By now you might be settling into a comfortable routine. Or an uncomfortable one. It all depends on… everything.  
_  
“I’m having very complicated feelings,” Thorin said as he looked at Bilbo feeding Della.  
  
“Dare I ask why?”  
  
“Your breasts,” Thorin said flatly.  
  
“They’re only a little bigger,” Bilbo said. “And really, it wouldn’t be very practical would it, to have children and not a way to feed them. Besides, you should be used to them. You’ve certainly seen enough of them.”  
  
“No, that’s- I find myself feeling slightly envious.”  
  
“You want me to feed you?” No wait, that couldn't be it. “You want to have _breasts_?”  
  
“NO!” Thorin’s face scrunched up in a way that really shouldn’t be attractive. “ _No_ to both of those things. But you and Della are so close. You have carried her for nine months. And now you continue to keep her alive.”  
  
Bilbo’s eyes softened. “Darling, it won’t be terribly long until you can help feed her with a bottle. And trust me, then I’ll be more than happy to kick you out of bed in the middle of the night to do so.”  
  
Thorin blinked. “My feelings are a little less complicated now.”

-  
  
“Now I’m having _conflicted_ feelings,” Thorin said, his hands twitching.  
  
“It’s good for her, being on her stomach from time to time,” Bilbo said, trying to sound convincing. Because it was _good_. Even if it felt like they were doing something terrible. “It’s good for her back and neck.”  
  
Della let out a sad little sound from where she was lying on the blanket and obviously that was Thorin’s breaking point. In a flash, a very careful flash, he had swooped up their daughter and cradled her to his chest.  
  
“15 seconds isn’t bad,” Bilbo said, his arms feeling empty without his daughter in them. “We’ll work on it.”  
  
-  
  
“I’ve been wondering,” Bilbo said. “We’ve not really had a lot of visitors. Is that because you’ve threatened them or because they’re locked in the dungeons?”  
  
“I wouldn’t,” Thorin said, hurt. “They’re just respecting our privacy at such a time as this.”  
  
“Ah, bribery then?” Bilbo asked.  
  
Thorin’s silence spoke for itself.  
  
-  
  
“She’s such a sweetheart,” Dís said, carefully holding Della to her chest. “You can already see that she’s going to be such a heartbreaker.”  
  
“Dwalin is already planning how to train her in combat,” Bilbo said drily. “Trust me, she’s going to break a lot more than hearts.”  
  
“Does Thorin know?”  
  
“About the training? Well, not yet. But I figure we’ll have a few decades of breaking the news to him that his little princess will need to learn things that might end up giving her bruises. And as soon as she starts to crawl she’s going to end up with them anyway. I’m still unsure if this will help my argumentation or not.”  
  
“That’s-“ Dís paused. “You’ll have to forgive me, but I didn’t think that your people believed in combat training. From what my brother has told me, you were not trained at the start of your quest.”  
  
“Indeed I wasn’t, but wouldn’t it be nice if I had been?” Bilbo stretched out a hand to touch the soft skin at the back of his daughter’s head. “I’m very much hoping that she’ll never have to do anything remotely dangerous, but my father wanted the same for me. And considering how things ended up, I can’t complain that he didn’t get his wish.” Bilbo laughed. “But I can admit that I’d rather would have done without the disparaging comments from certain people about my sword fighting techniques.”  
  
“You mean your letter opener?” Dís asked innocently.  
  
Bilbo narrowed his eyes at her. “Dwarfs,” he sniffed.  
  
“You’re father to one now,” the princess pointed out.  
  
“Nobody’s perfect,” the Hobbit said loftily, but the soft look he gave his daughter made him a liar.  
  
-  
  
 **Week 4**

 _Congratulations again! Now your baby will begin to go from sleeping, sleeping, sleeping some more, awake! sleeping…  
to: sleeping, sleeping, awake! sleeping again, awake! sleeping some more, sleeping.  
  
It may not seem like a huge difference, but every day your baby will spend a little more time awake. Rejoice, and be very, very afraid. This is only the beginning.  
  
  
_“Did you see?” Thorin turned towards Bilbo and grinned. “She smiled at me.”  
  
Bilbo suspected that it might have been just gas, but who was he to banish the beautiful smile quirking  his husband’s lips? “And you thought that she wouldn’t like you.”  
  
When Thorin turned back to Della his face fell slightly because their daughter had already fallen asleep again.

“When I was a child,” Bilbo said, leaning against Thorin’s shoulder. “About five years old or so, I loved waking my parents at dawn just to tell them that a new day had started. If she turns out to be anything like me I think we’ll look back on this time with much fondness.”  
  
-  
  
“Great,” Bilbo said soothingly. “A whole 30 seconds on her tummy this time.”  
  
Della fussed a little in his arms and all right, _maybe_ Thorin wasn’t the only one feeling like they were abandoning their daughter to the wolves when they were in fact only putting her down on a nicely padded surface where there weren’t even as much as a dust bunny.  
  
-  
  
The next day Della lifted her head while lying on her stomach, clearly that was a sign that this business with short intensive periods was working. Yes? Good. Then that was settled.  
  
When Bilbo said as much to Thorin the Dwarf refrained from asking just how 'intensive' lying on your stomach could be.

-  
  
"She needs fresh air and sunshine," Bilbo protested. "And we're only going out to my gardens, it's not like we're heading into Mirkwood.  
  
Thorin's eyes darkened. "Those _Elves_ best stay away from our daughter."  
  
Yes, indeed that discussion about that word would likely be eternal.  
  
-

**Week 5**

_By now your baby might have begun to smile at you when you play with her. This is normal, and not because your baby thinks you look funny. Though she may think that too.  
  
Also, remember that regular trips to your healer may not be good for your wellbeing, but it’s good for your daughter’s.  
  
_ “She’s not too small,” Bilbo seethed. “She’s perfectly sized. I’ve seen plenty of babes in my time.”  
  
Her feet _might_ be a tad small, but they were covered in the same silky hair as Della had on her head, so Bilbo wasn’t overly concerned.  
  
“So have I, lad,” Óin said, not letting himself be intimidated. “And I’m _not_ saying that she’s not healthy enough. She seems _perfectly_ healthy. I just asked if she’s been eating enough.”  
  
“Are you telling me that I can’t feed my daughter?” Bilbo demanded.  
  
The healer sighed and looked to Thorin who held up his hands. “Before Della I’ve not seen a babe since Fíli and Kíli were little. And I remember them being about pine cone sized, which clearly is not right.” _  
  
_Bilbo shot Óin a smug look, because Della was _clearly_ a lot bigger than a pine cone. Not that he really thought that Fíli and Kíli had been that small, but still.  
  
“But my daughter also seems, small, to me,” Thorin said. “Even if not as small as I remember my nephews.” Thorin frowned and now it was Óin’s turn to look smug. “But all babes are surely small,” Thorin continued and both the healer and Bilbo sighed. _  
_  
“Let me put it like this,” Óin said. “How often is she eating, and about how long would you say each time lasts.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Bilbo said. “Maybe twenty times, and until she’s done? It varies a bit.”  
  
Óin blinked. “Well, nothing’s wrong with that I guess. Apparently she’s taking after you a bit in that department then, because new-born Dwarfs usually don’t require food that often. Might explain why she’s a bit small as well, if she takes after you more than Thorin.”  
  
“She’s not small!” Bilbo fumed and held Della a little bit closer to himself. “You try and push her out of any of your-“  
  
“My love-“ Thorin put his hand on Bilbo’s shoulder. “Our daughter is perfect and you are amazing.”  
  
“That’s not going to work for much longer,” Bilbo complained half-heartedly when he felt his bad temper slip away.  
  
“But you’re always going to be amazing, and she is always going to be perfect,” Thorin replied, and his blue eyes were big and pretty and Bilbo loved him so much it hurt.  
  
-  
  
 **Week 6**

_Cooing! Finally a baby noise that isn’t crying. Rejoice!  
  
_

“Aren’t you the prettiest jewel in all the world,” Thorin said to Della, who he was holding in his arms. “Indeed, you are the prettiest. You _and_ your father.”  
  
Bilbo’s mouth quirked. “We’re stones, hooray.”  
  
“As if plants are better,” Thorin huffed. “Do you know what happens to plants? Goats eat them.”  
  
“Goats rarely eat roses, Thorin,” Bilbo pointed out. “It’s not like I called her a carrot before.”  
  
When Della let out a happy sounding burble she surprised both her fathers.  
  
“Though maybe I _should_ call her a carrot?”  
  
Again, the last word was met with a happy coo.  
  
“We’re _not_ giving her a nickname after an orange vegetable,” Thorin said firmly.  
  
“Now you know how I felt about calling her a frog.”  
  
-

Thorin looked sceptical at the bottle of milk Bilbo had given him.  
  
“This has been inside you,” he pointed out rather needlessly. “And it’s warm.”  
  
“Yes, because she’s much too young to be drinking any other milk,” Bilbo said. “And of course it’s warm. She’ll get a tummy ache otherwise. Really, you are squeamish about the most peculiar things. Might I point out that _you_ have also been inside of me?”  
  
“Bilbo,” Thorin looked scandalised and covered their daughters tiny, pointed, ears with one big hand. “Not in front of Della.”  
  
“Darling, she doesn’t understand what I’m saying. Do you or do you not want to feed her? And that better be a yes, because I’ve been looking forward to a night of undisturbed sleep for a while now.”  
  
-  
  
 **Week 8  
** _There’s not much to see for a babe when she’s inside of you, so when she arrives, she’s going to be a bit out of practice. But after a while, bold shapes and patterns (mostly black and white) will attract your babe’s attention.  
  
_

To Fíli’s and Kíli’s huge, Erebor sized, disappointment their little cousin paid other members of the Company far more attention than she did them. Nori, Dwalin and Bifur were indisputable favourites. Much to the trio’s smugness.  
  
“I don’t get it,” Fíli sulked.  
  
“I know,” Bilbo said mildly. “You’re much prettier.”  
  
“Yes, I-“ Fíli paused, turning to glare at the Hobbit. “I’m _not_ pretty.”  
  
One of the servants walking through the room with a stack of clean sheets snorted, then looked fairly mortified.  
  
“Oh don’t worry,” Bilbo said, trying not to smile. “We also think that he’s pretty.”  
  
"I'm not pretty," Fíli sulked.  
  
-  
  
 **Week 9**

 _Giggling! If they’re not laughing at you yet, just you wait. It’ll happen. If not before, then in their teen and tween years. Only it won't be as cute.  
  
_ “Bilbo, Bilbo wake up.”  
  
“What?" Bilbo pushed himself up on his elbows. "Is everything okay? Della?”  
  
“Everything is fine. She’s right here.” Thorin smiled down at him. “But you’ll want to see this.”  
  
Bilbo rubbed the sleep, as best as he could, out of his eyes and blinked up at his husband.  
  
Thorin tickled Della’s stomach which prompted their little girl to giggle in the sweetest way. Much like she’d had the other day when Bilbo had tickled her under the chin.  
  
He hadn’t told Thorin about it because he knew that the Dwarf was upset about missing so much during the hours he had to devote to ruling Erebor. So while Bilbo didn’t _really_ appreciate being woken in the middle of the night, he still appreciated the thought behind it.  
  
“Isn’t she the most precious thing?” Thorin said, looking as proud as if Della had declared that Elves were idiots. And _Eru_ , had Thorin actually managed to get Bilbo thinking like that as well now...  
  
-  
  
 **Week 13**  
 _If you haven’t noticed before: your baby has a personality. (!) By now she’ll be looking to interact more and more with the world around her._

 

“See, I knew that she would appreciate the rattlers,” Thorin told Bilbo.  
  
“She still can only use one at the time,” Bilbo pointed out. “I’m not sure why we need a basket of them.”  
  
-  
  
Giggling, Della splashed water over the edge of the bowl.  
  
“Yes, it’s fun to get clean,” Bilbo smiled. “Please remember this even if you’re growing up with Dwarfs who think that bathing is not required as much as it is matter of personal preference.”

 

-  
  
“Who is that?” Kíli said affecting a deeply surprised expression. “Surely no Dwarf can be that handsome and who is that paragon of cuteness that he is holding?”  
  
Cooing happily Della waved her hand in the direction of the large mirror. Then she shoved her entire hand into her mouth.  
  
"Impressive," Kíli told her. Then he tried to see if he could manage the same with his own fist and mouth. It... did not work out. Still, when Bombur walked by and noticed what the prince was doing he was _very_ amused.

-

“No, no, no,” Fíli scolded gently when Della grabbed one of his braids and tried to put the bead in her mouth. “Imagine if you swallowed that, your fathers would throw me in the dungeons faster than you can blink.”  
  
His cousin blinked big blue eyes up at him and despite knowing that it was a terrible, lousy, bad idea, Fíli rather _wanted_ her to have the silver bead.  
  
“Give her one of the rattles,” Thorin said, without looking up from his paperwork. “Or the blue blanket, she likes that one.”  
  
-  
  
 **Week 14**

 _Teeth! Well, the start of them. Didn’t you wonder why everything has begun to go into her mouth?_  
  
  
“You can put this salve on her gums, it’ll help with the itching.” Óin looked thoughtful. “It’s awfully early for the teething to start already.”  
  
“Not for Hobbits,” Bilbo pointed out.  
  
“All the better to eat with?” Óin teased.  
  
The Hobbit just sniffed.  
  
-  
  
 **Week 15**

 _WAH! NEH! EH!  
How interesting, do go on.  
  
  
_ “Owh!” Della complained and Bilbo and Thorin both looked over at their daughter to where she was playing with Fíli and Kíli.  
  
“Sounds like she’s tired,” Bilbo said and Thorin nodded.  
  
“I’ll get her ready for bed.”  
  
“To me that sounded like…” Kíli frowned. “No, I have no idea.”  
  
“Owh!” Della said, waving her hand at Fíli’s nose.  
  
“No, that does not sound like ‘I’m tired’ to me either,” Fíli smiled down at the babe. “I’m sorry, cousin, any deep discussion will have to wait.  
  
Della blew a spit bubble.  
  
-  
  
 **Week 16**

 _If you are worried that your baby is not growing as she should, make sure to mention this during a trip to your healer. Also, if the opposite is true._  
  
  
“I’m telling you, if anything she’s _bigger_ than normal,” Bilbo said to Óin, who looked dubious.  
  
“Well, she’s not a bad weight. Maybe you should start introducing solids to her diet soon,” the Healer said.  
  
“I’m going to, but not because she’s _small_. Have it occurred to you that I’m not _quite_ as big as Thorin is?”  
  
-

**Week 17**

_The older your baby gets the more she’ll begin to interact with the world around her.  
_  
For the last week or so Della had been a little obsessed with everyone’s braids. She’d been pulling on Thorin’s braids, pulling on Fíli’s braids, _everyone_ ’s braids! Kíli had even braided his hair specifically to give his little cousin something to pull on. But her absolute favourites were Nori’s braids.  
  
This did not decrease the Dwarf’s previous smugness over being able to entertain the little princess.  
  
“If Nori’s head gets any bigger it’s going to blot out the sun,” Ori sulked. “I’m not sure it fits in the mountain anymore.”

“She likes you too, Ori,” Bilbo soothed. “Don’t fret about it.”

-

 **Week 18**  
 _Has she begun to sit unaided yet? If not, begin to look out for it._  
  
  
“Thorin, darling, you can’t declare everything Della does a cause for a holiday. Sitting-day sounds just as stupid as Rolling-Over-day. Everyone is going to think that you’ve gone a bit bonkers if you keep this up.”  
  
-

 **Week 19  
** _Your baby should now only be sleeping for about 12 hours each day. A rather big change from when she preferred to sleep for all but 12 minutes each day. Unfortunately, all of these hours of sleep are not conveniently located  during the dark hours.  
  
_ The bags between Thorin’s eyes had begun to grow to alarming proportions.  
  
“Darling,” Bilbo said gently. “I know you want to spend as much time with Della as you can. But you can’t work all day and then stay up with her during the night.”  
  
“Dwarfs do not need much sleep,” Thorin protested. “I’m fine.”  
  
“What if I stop by the throne room for a few hours each day?” Bilbo suggested.  
  
Thorin was about to protest, but a yawn got there first.  
  
“Dwalin can maybe be there as well, it’ll be perfectly safe,” Bilbo said confidently. “And you know Nori will be sneaking around as well.”  
  
“That you mean that as a comfort and that I do take it as one is a continued surprise,” Thorin said drily.  
  
“Glad to hear it,” Nori’s voice came from… _inside their wardrobe?_  
  
-

**Week 23**

_If you haven’t already, now is really the time to baby-proof your home. It’s still some time until walking will begin, but walking isn’t the only way to get around.  
  
The best way to baby proofing your mountain is to get down to a babe’s level. Get down on your hands and knees and crawl around every room. From this perspective, you will discover many a sharp corner or other things you never would have noticed.  
  
_ Most Dwarfs already thought that the Company was a bit… weird. Going up against a Dragon was brave, not doubt about it, but also something most people wouldn’t volunteer to do (as had been proven). It took a... _special_ kind of person to do that.  
  
Therefore surprisingly few eyebrows were raised when the members of the Company was seen crawling around inside Erebor on all fours, peering suspiciously at sharp corners and uneven patches in the stone floor.  
  
-  
  
“Thorin, the mines do not need to be baby-proofed. Unless you have a secret plan to make her the smallest miner ever which you have neglected to tell me about.”

  
**Week 24**  
 _Finally, the teeth have arrived!  
Oh dear lords, the teeth have arrived._  
  
“Bilbo, do you know why our daughter is creating a small lake of drool?” Thorin called, holding Della up in front of him and watching the drool trail down the front of her shift. The little girl was chewing on the ear of a stuffed animal Bifur had given her. Thorin wasn't sure what exactly it was supposed to be, but Della loved anything Bifur and Bofur gave her, so what did it matter.  
  
“Her teeth are really starting to come in now,” Bilbo called from the bedroom. “She’s a bit warm, but I don’t think she’s got a fever.”  
  
“Fever?”  
  
“No, no fever.”  
  
“Is she ill?”  
  
“No, because she doesn’t have a fever.”  
  
“ _Why_ are you talking about fevers?”  
  
Bilbo’s head popped inside the doorway. “Because babies often get a low fever when their teeth begin to show up?”  
  
“No they don’t,” Thorin stated. “They’re teething, they’re not sick.”  
  
“Huh,” Bilbo said, popping back into the bedroom. “Must be a Dwarven thing. Well, here’s hoping.”  
  
-  
  
 **Week 26  
** _About now your baby will have progressed from one syllable sounds to two-syllable sounds! Talking is ever closer._  


“That’s very interesting,” Dori nodded. “Do you really think so?”  
  
Della flailed her chubby little arms and said something long and unintelligible. Fíli and Kíli watched in fascination as the older Dwarf nodded again and responded as if their little cousin made perfect sense.   
  
“Thorin,” Bilbo murmured. “Don’t you think we should tell them that Dori doesn’t actually understand her, and that he’s just talking with her because that’s what you do with babes?”  
  
“Remember when your pipe went mysteriously missing a few weeks ago? That was because Kíli shoved Fíli and he accidentally sat on it.”  
  
“Or maybe this will be a good lesson for them,” Bilbo said and watched as the two boys demanded that Dori would teach them the secret baby language.

  
-  
  
 **Week 27**  
 _Figured out what type of music your little one enjoys yet?  
  
_ When Bilbo had claimed that all Hobbit children needed to be sung to as often as possible as that would help them grow, he _might_ have stretched the truth more than a bit.  
  
All right, he might have flat out lied.  
  
But Thorin’s singing voice was just so lovely. And it seemed that Della loved it too. At least, she always fell asleep when Thorin sang to her at bedtime, and that was probably a good sign. Not the best of reviews normally; putting your audience to sleep, but… Bilbo figured it was different with babies.

-

 **Week 28**  
 _Separation anxiety. Enough said.  
  
_ “Don’t worry,” Dís said and tickled a happily squirming Della. “She’ll just be a few doors down. Come by anytime you want. Just you know, get dressed before you do.”  
  
Bilbo blushed. “We’re not-“  
  
“Dear, I remember what my plans were when I handed off my kids to Thorin and then looked at my husband like that.”  
  
“I thought you were just sleeping,” Thorin said and scrunched his face up. “ _Mahal_ knows parents need sleep. They do not need to hear about what their siblings do when-”  
  
“Well, stop talking about it then,” Dís said and rolled her eyes. “And you can sleep if you want. I don’t care.”  
  
When Dís and Della had left, Bilbo and Thorin looked at each other. It was almost the first time the two of them had been alone in a room together since Della’s birth.  
  
“This is strange,” Bilbo remarked.  
  
“Indeed,” Thorin said, wrapping his arms around his husband. “But I can’t say that I mind getting to spend time alone with you.”  
  
“Oh, that reminds me,” Bilbo looked towards the wardrobe. “Nori if you’re there, I’m going to tell on you to Dori if you don’t get out of here.”  
  
“Spoilsport,” the auburn haired Dwarf muttered when he walked past them.  
  
“Now where were we?” Bilbo smiled and pulled Thorin’s head down to meet his.  
  
-  
  
An hour later the two of them were entwined on the bed, naked and spent.  
  
“Darling, would you mind if I went and got Della back from Dís?” Bilbo asked, carding his hand through Thorin’s chest hair. “I know it’s silly, but-“  
  
“I don’t mind,” Thorin said, his chest rumbling beneath Bilbo’s ear. “I was about to suggest the same thing.”  
  
“I love you,” Bilbo smiled, pressing a kiss to Thorin’s skin. Something stirred against the Hobbit’s thigh and Bilbo felt his own parts take notice.  
  
“Or maybe it can wait a little,” he said, letting his hand trail lower.  
  
Perhaps spent was not the right word.  
  
-  
  
When they finally dragged themselves out of bed, Della was _not_ ready stop playing with her auntie Dís, and Bilbo and Thorin ended up being shooed back to their own rooms.  
  
-  
  
 **Week 29**  
 _Final check regarding baby-proofing, are you sure you’re done?_  
  
“Sweetheart, you’re _crawling_!” Bilbo said when he noticed what his daughter was doing. Hearing her daddy speak Della stopped and looked at him.

“No, no, don’t stop.” Bilbo looked around and grabbed her favourite stuffed toy. “See, come get this.”  
  
As she began crawling again Bilbo called for Thorin over his shoulder.  
  
“What? Is everything-“  
  
“Look,” Bilbo interrupted, nodding down at their daughter. The smile they shared as Della managed to reached the toy was probably stupid, but who cared. Then Thorin frowned.  
  
“Are you sure that I should not ask for the mines to be-“  
  
“Darling, that’s _really_ not necessary. It's not like she's the first babe to ever be born in Erebor.”  
  
-

**Week 30**

_Children are like little sponges, and by that we don’t mean wet and floppy. Whatever they see, they are likely to repeat. Try to be on your best behaviour. Even small things can make a big impression._  
  
“Thorin, you really need to stop using ‘Elves’ as a curse word. This time I mean it.”  
  
-  
  
 **Week 31**

_Though you may have a routine and rules that you would like to adhere to, occasional interruptions are not the end of the world. Unless the interruptions begin to be the routine. Then you may feel free to remind people you have access to dungeons._

 

“You’ll rot her teeth,” Bilbo complained when Dwalin handed Della another sweetmeat.

“Bah, Dwarven teeth are strong!” Dwalin said, smiling down at the little girl who grinned back up at him with all her small white teeth.

“But she’s also a Hobbit,” Bilbo reminded. “Look, pointy ears. And if that is not enough proof, the fact that she spent nine months in here-“ he pointed to his stomach. “-should do it.”  
  
“Surely a little treat won’t hurt,” Balin said, his own hand already holding another piece of candy, and Bilbo sighed.  
  
“While these teeth are coming out later, I still think-“  
  
“What?” Dwalin looked a mix between surprised and disgusted. “What are you planning to do with her teeth?”  
  
“Nothing?” Bilbo blinked. “But these are just her baby teeth, they’ll fall out. But I don’t think-“  
  
“They’re going to what?” Balin said, tilting his head in question. “Fall out? Why?”  
  
“Because she’ll be getting new ones?” Bilbo shook his head. “Well, clearly this is another difference between Hobbits and Dwarfs. But don’t you think that her current teeth are rather small?”  
  
Dwalin shrugged. “They’ll grow, and grow stronger.”  
  
“You must admit that the entire lass is a tad small at the moment,” Balin pointed out. “But she’ll grow, and so will her teeth.” He frowned. “Teeth that fall out, that seems very impractical. How will she eat?”  
  
“It’s not like they’ll all go at once,” Bilbo shook his head again. “Well, I’ll guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens. But _stop_ feeding her candy. If these end up being the only teeth she’ll have I’d rather that she’ll get to keep them. ”  
  
-

 **Week 33**  
 _At this age, your baby is probably beginning to understand the word no. Don’t be discouraged if this doesn’t apply to your friends.  
  
_ “Bombur! I’ve told you, no more candy for Della! And that goes for you, Dwalin. I can see what you're holding."  
  
-  
  
 **Week 37**  
 _Wow. Soon she’ll have been outside you for longer than she was inside you. And no, you can’t stuff her back in._  
  
Thorin looked alarmed when he found his husband sitting on their bed with tear filled eyes.  
  
“Bilbo, where’s Della? What’s happened?”  
  
Bilbo sniffed and shook his head, trying to wipe at his eyes at the same time and only succeeding in almost poking out an eye. He wondered idly if this was normal, that the both of them immediatly assumed that something was wrong with their daughter as soon as the other called, but all in all it seemed better to be safe than sorry.  
  
“She’s fine, she’s with Dís, I just,” he held up a tiny little pair of trousers. “She used to fit into this, and now she’s so big, and it’s happened so fast. I don’t- I’m just being silly, never mind me.”  
  
Thorin knelt down in front of his husband and gently placed his hands over Bilbo’s.  
  
“But this is a good thing," he said gently. "She’s growing strong and healthy and as beautiful as her father.”  
  
Bilbo smiled, and it was only a bit wobbly. “Dwalin told me that he thinks you’re talking about yourself when you say that.”  
  
“I always mean you,” Thorin said solemnly and Bilbo bent down to press their heads together.  
  
“I am no longer susceptible to flattery after spending so much time with that general of Dáin’s,” Bilbo said. “But thank you.”  
  
“Unlike that-“ Thorin muttered something in Khuzdul that no one wanted to translate to Bilbo. “I’m _perfectly_ sincere. I see so much of you in Della and I find everything about it beautiful.”  
  
“She’s got your nose though,” Bilbo pointed out.  
  
“She is a Durin,” Thorin smiled. “That is only to be expected.”  
  
Bilbo sighed and brushed his lips against Thorin’s cheekbone. “I just don’t know when she got so big. Soon she’ll be walking, and after that I feel like it’s going to be impossible to know where she’s at. When she was still in here-” Bilbo moved Thorin’s hand to his stomach. “I always knew where she was.”  
  
Thorin was silent for a while. “Want me to baby-proof the mines after all?”  
  
“Yes, please.”

-  
  
On the upside, mining accidents were almost non-existent after that.  
  
-  
  
 **Week 38**  
 _Before you can walk you got to be able to stand on your own two feet. Only, sometimes babes are not given this information.  
  
_ Thorin’s eyes widened as he saw his daughter take two unsteady steps before promptly falling on her chubby backside.  
  
“Bilbo,” he yelled. “Della just took her first steps!”  
  
“What!” Bilbo rushed into the bedroom. “But she’s not even begun to pull herself up against the furniture yet. She can’t walk, it’s much too early.”  
  
“Tell that to her,” Thorin said. “Because she seems to think otherwise.”  
  
“Is this a Dwarven thing?” Bilbo looked suspiciously at Thorin. “Will we wake up tomorrow and have her running laps around the bed?”  
  
Thorin shrugged a bit helplessly. “I’m not sure, but aren’t you happy that the entire mountain is now safe for her?”  
  
-

**Week 39**

_Let her eat together with you, it’s good for her to get to see how adults act around the dinner table. So make sure all adults do remember that they are just that.  
  
_

“There will be no walking on the table, no throwing of food, plates, cutlery, no throwing what so ever. No blunting of the knives-“ Bilbo stopped to glare at Bofur who tried to look innocent. “And no talking with food in your mouth. And _everyone_ will eat their vegetables.”  
  
Ori looked like Bilbo had threatened to banish ink and scrolls.  
  
-

**Week 43**  
 _Baby talk may be cute, but try to avoid it as it’ll help your baby learn to both speak and understand._

“Balin, while I appreciate that you’re treating Della as…” Bilbo tried to find the right words. “That you’re not treating her like she doesn’t understand anything, I’m still not sure if that’s an appropriate book for story time.”  
  
Balin looked down at the thick tome in his lap.  
  
“But it’s part of her history,” the Dwarf protested.  
  
“Yes, but I’m having a hard enough time with Thorin when it comes to Elves, I don’t need someone telling my daughter about a time spanning several decades when you happily tried to murder each other.”  
  
-

**Week 44**

_We have achieved ~~warp speed~~ walk!  
  
_ Fíli grinned as he backed away from the toddling Della. “Come and get me, cousin,” he teased, and then he knocked one of his shoulder’s into the edge of a bookcase and ended up on his arse.  
  
“So, the mountain now needs to be made safe for all Fílis as well,” Bilbo mused.  
  
“Ooooow,” Fíli complained. “My dignity may be broken.”  
  
-  
  
 **Week 48**  
 _It’s about a month to your baby’s first birthday. Time to forbid everyone to go over the top with the celebrations._  
  
“I had no problem with the holiday, but don’t you think a weeklong festival is overdoing it a little?” Bilbo raised an eyebrow and looked at Balin. “And what does Thorin say about it?”  
  
“Well, I figured that maybe you could be the one to convince him?” Balin said hopefully.  
  
“I think not,” Bilbo said, crossing his arms.  
  
-  
  
“Thorin, when I told Balin that I wouldn’t talk you into what he was planning for Della’s birthday, I didn’t think I’d be talking you out of something else. What in the world possessed you?”  
  
“Do you think she won’t like it?”  
  
“Darling, it’s a 20 feet high sculpture of our baby daughter.” Bilbo sighed. “I never thought that the weeklong festival would be the better idea.”  
  
Thorin perked up. “Was that Balin’s suggestion? It sounds like a wonderful idea.”  
  
-  
  
 **Week 49**  
 _First words._ _But not the last ones.  
  
_ Della had previously learned how to say such things as Da-Da, Fa-Fa, Fee, Kee, Dee and other short sounds that always managed to delight whoever thought that it was pertaining to them, but for her first real word… Let’s just say that it was something of a surprise.  
  
“I’m not sure if you should blame yourself or blame Balin,” Bilbo said, trying not to laugh at the expression on Thorin’s face.  
  
“Elves!” Della chirped happily. “Elves, elves, elves.”  
  
“Why Balin?”  
  
“He’s been using history books as bedtime stories whenever he’s had the chance. And there’s a surprising amount of Elves mixed up in there.” Bilbo raised an eyebrow. “Can I take your question as an admission of guilt on your part? I told you to stop using it as a curse word. And I also told you to stop cursing around her.”  
  
“Elves!”  
  
-  
  
 ** _Week 51  
_** ~~Parents of fussy eaters can often find themselves wondering whether or not their child’s nutritional needs are being met, especially if your child seems to reject everything you place down in front of him.  
~~ _The above does not reply to Dwarven-Hobbit babies. Please ignore this section._

-  
  
 **Week 52**  
 _Congratulations! It’s your baby’s first birthday! Can you believe that an entire year has passed since the birth of your child? Wow…  
  
_ The birthday tradition Bilbo had grown up with was to give everyone at the party a gift. The Dwarven way was that everyone had the party should give the birthday girl or boy a gift. Both of these traditions was deemed impractical when the entire mountain was invited to celebrate in a _three_ days long festival. (A good marriage required compromises.)  
  
But Della still received and gave away plenty of presents, and even though she would remember nothing of it, the princess’ first birthday was considered a huge success. To be honest, give a toddler a chance to press cake all over themselves and anything in relation to that will be a huge success. And give Dwarfs food and drink and music and much the same was true.  
  
On the third evening Bilbo and Thorin put their daughter to bed and more or less fell into their own bed together. But their clothes was still on and the falling part was more out of exhaustion then passion.  
  
“I’m not saying that I told you so, but imagine if there’s was another four days of this,” Bilbo mumbled into his pillow. Thorin’s reply was lost somewhere in Bilbo’s curls.  
  
“She’s one year old now,” Bilbo said after a short time, finding the energy to roll over so he could face his husband. “She’s not a baby anymore.”  
  
The Hobbit expected to feel sad about this, but instead; beneath the exhaustion, there was mostly glee that they’d done such a good job. Their daughter was smart and healthy and - fine he might not be entirely unbiased, but he didn't care - _perfect_. They’d done a brilliant job so far. Better than he could have hoped.  
  
Instead it was Thorin who let out something suspiciously close to a sniffle and Bilbo hid a smile and stroked his husband’s hair.  
  
He was tempted to point out that he was fairly sure that there would be another baby in the foreseeable future, but he wasn’t _entirely_ sure himself yet.

It could wait a few more weeks, then he’d know. And this time he wouldn't have to spend _any_ time convincing _anyone_ that he could indeed have a baby. Happy days.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
